Lawrence, KS
(B. Mosley)
appears on X-ING
I stayed up all night in agony writing this song at a Super 8 Motel in Lawrence, KS after the 40 college kids in the audience who showed up to cheer for my local opening act walked out together three songs into my set.
Right before going onstage, I looked up from the urinal…someone had scrawled “WHAT TIME IS LOVE?” on the bathroom wall with a red sharpie. A took a picture of it with my free hand and thought, “Hell yeah, I’m about play Lawrence, KS for the first time and it is Love O’clock.“
I had extremely high expectations for Lawrence, based upon its reputation as a music town. As my beloved teacher Alan Langdon at Circle In The Square Theatre School in New York often said, “There’s only one game, one contest in the world…Expectation vs. Reality…and the same one wins every time.”
I played my show to the bartender, the sound guy and—very much to his credit—the kid who opened for me. At the end of the night, stunned and despondent and alone, I paused at the door and thought about leaving my guitar on the floor and driving away in no particular direction…a low-point, maybe?
I was deeply exhausted and massively alone at the end of a huge Winter solo tour…just perfectly placed to take the whole experience personally to a very inappropriate extent…I was unknown there and it was a Tuesday night, after all. A school night.
But still…I deserved better, Lawrence, KS.
•
What time is love?
What a fine question
I wish I had known
It came right before me
Hey Toto, I’ve a feeling
As much as I’d hoped to
I do not belong here
Where I wanna be
Came 10,000 miles
Through blizzards and breakdowns
Came this way high
On fumes and on hope
Land sakes alive
What an oasis
I had hoped to be welcome
Good god, throw me a rope
I cannot compel
I cannot compete
I cannot begin to tell ya
How Lawrence cannot feel it
I came alone
I came open
Seem to be beautiful
People solid and clear
Have not a word for me
Have not a look
Bless my soul, but
They’re not having it here
A nod here, a nod there
Along the way
If I’ve ever had a crowd stand
More than one woman deep
By the way – thank you, Adam
If I’ve offered anything
It’s thanks it’s been goodly
The company I keep
I cannot compel
I cannot compete
I cannot believe this hell
And Lawrence cannot feel it
The one and only
Time to clean out a room
Just showing up as
Who I am here
Opened my mouth
They all turned and scattered
Nothing doing
Disappeared
I wish I could
But I can no longer cast pearls
Without so much
As a pork chop in pay
Left my guitar
On the floor in the bar
Crawled in the car
Just drove away
I cannot compel
I cannot compete
I cannot believe this hell
And Lawrence cannot feel it
I cannot compel
I cannot compete
I cannot begin to tell ya
How Lawrence cannot feel it
What time is love?
What time is love?
What time is love?
What time is love?